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April 23.2025
3 Minutes Read

Cultivating Fortitude: Embracing Strength Over Comfort in Modern Life

Stern monk pointing forward, men's personal growth theme.

The Timeless Advice of Aquinas on Personal Strength

In the 13th century, Thomas Aquinas—a towering figure in philosophy and theology—shined a light on a significant ethical concern he termed "effeminacy". Although the term might resonate differently with contemporary audiences, it’s essential to grasp the intended meaning, especially for modern men seeking personal growth. For Aquinas, effeminacy encapsulated a moral weakness, one where individuals preferred comfort and pleasure over enduring hardships for the sake of virtue.

Understanding Effeminacy: A Moral Weakness

What did Aquinas mean when he discussed effeminacy? In his landmark work, Summa Theologica, Aquinas emphasized that a person characterized by effeminacy forfeits good opportunities due to an inability to withstand discomfort or challenges. This concept transcends specific gender implications—it addresses a crucial aspect of moral character applicable to all individuals, regardless of gender. To be effeminate, in this sense, is to be a "moral sissy"—someone who shies away from reality and difficult circumstances, hindering their personal progress.

Why Effeminacy Undermines the Good Life

For Aquinas, the Good Life is defined as a life devoted to virtue, one directed towards noble goals. However, the reality of achieving a virtuous life is that it often involves facing discomfort head-on. It can mean sacrificing immediate pleasure for enduring benefits, requiring determination and grit. Many of us might find ourselves in these everyday scenarios:

  • Avoiding tough conversations with friends or family for fear of discomfort.
  • Putting off workouts because we might not feel like it.
  • Using escapism—like binge-watching shows or drinking—rather than confronting underlying issues.
  • Sacrificing long-term goals in favor of short-term gratification, such as overspending or abandoning new hobbies.

These minor acts of avoidance, when summed up, reveal how effeminacy sabotages our potential—essentially eroding our capacity to engage in meaningful life pursuits.

Fortitude: The Strength Against Effeminacy

What, then, is the antidote to this moral softness? Aquinas advocates for "fortitude." This virtue empowers one to stand firm against difficulties, maintaining resolve in the pursuit of goodness, even when faced with discomfort or fear. It's the resilience that allows individuals to overcome obstacles repeatedly—doing the right thing, day in and day out, regardless of how tempting it may be to quit or take the easy way out. Fortitude is about nurturing a backbone, a vital force that compels us to endure hardships for the greater good.

The Everyday Application of Fortitude

In practical terms, how can today’s men cultivate the virtue of fortitude? Here are four key strategies:

  1. Embrace Discomfort: Start by tackling small discomforts daily. Whether it’s a cold shower or a difficult workout, seeking out minor challenges builds resilience.
  2. Set Clear Goals: Define what virtue means to you. Align your actions with these goals, reminding yourself of the importance of genuine effort over superficial ease.
  3. Surround Yourself Wisely: Build a support system of individuals who encourage growth and fortitude. Engaging with a community that shares the value of perseverance strengthens your resolve.
  4. Practice Reflection: Regularly reflect on moments of weakness—recognize where you folded, understand why it happened, and plan for future challenges.

Conclusion: The Modern Quest for Virtue

In an age where instant gratification is prioritized, Aquinas's insights illuminate a path back to moral fortitude. Effeminacy, that dreaded moral softness, can be combated with clear intention and the courage to embrace discomfort. In a society that increasingly values comfort over commitment, today’s men—particularly those aged 35 to 55—have the opportunity to redefine their paths to personal growth. Rather than give in to the allure of ease, they can choose actions that foster character, endure challenges, and pursue the Good Life with fortitude.

Reflect on your daily decisions. Are they steering you towards virtue or comfort? With intentional efforts, we can cultivate fortitude, ensuring we do not become victims of our own comforts. Take up the charge to embody strength, pursue the virtuous path, and contribute positively to your life and the lives of others.

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